Moving is a routine part of military life, but making the move from a military to civilian family is often a life-altering event. One’s sense of community, support and comfort shifts dramatically causing families to seek out opportunities to fill these voids.
Some military families know where they plan to retire when they enter the military and make the transition back to civilian life in a place where they may still have roots, contacts and a strong support system. Others choose to remain close to a military installation with the hopes of retaining a networking system that allows the retired military person, spouse and family members to find employment and have a circle of friends who have had similar military experiences. Still others retire far from a military base seeking better job opportunities or a more desirable location in which to spend their retirement.
Regardless, retired military families face many of the same challenges when making the adjustment to life as a civilian family.
Challenges range from losing military contacts and friends to finding jobs and sometimes, new careers. Benefits which once might have been taken for granted are no longer an option for retired military, especially for those who move further from a military installation. Fitting into a school or community, which may already be established, can be extremely difficult for both children and adults.
When my husband retired from the Army, we wanted to return to a city near one of our previous military assignments. We liked the location and the schools in this particular community. We realized that being near the base would allow us to take advantage of many of the benefits to which we had become accustomed. So when my husband was offered a job, he put in his retirement papers and we began the transition from an active duty family to a retired military family.
Maintaining ties with the military community helped with the adjustment. After living a certain life style for over 20 years, we found it was hard to completely leave the military way of life behind. Choosing to return to a previous assignment helped us maintain our ties with the military; it allows us to feel a real connection to our military roots. We are able to share our wonderful memories with those who have been in the military themselves. Our closest friends are those we made while in the military and since they too retired to this community, we are able to get together often and reminisce.
I have also found that many former military families, including my own, take comfort in showing support for active duty military and their families. There is a great sense of pride we gained through being a military family. Showing support for those serving in the military brings a great sense of patriotism and a connection to the life we were once a part of.
Returning to this community as civilians also posed some challenges. I saw the difficulty my children experienced attending school with classmates who had been together since kindergarten. They found themselves becoming friends with those in similar situations: recently transplanted or new to the school.
Extremely helpful in making this transition was getting them involved in activities and athletics, this provided them with an instant group of friends. In talking with other retired military family members, becoming a member of a church or club or finding a job provides a valuable opportunity to make friends and establish new support systems.
No matter what the situation, relying on those closest to us has sustained our family the most. The greatest thing we learned from life as a military family was to depend on each other and that was one life lesson we easily took with us into civilian life.
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