It’s been a long and difficult three years for Heather. She is mother of four children ranging in age from 13 to 5 and the wife of a U.S. Army soldier who has been deployed to Iraq on three separate occasions since 2003.
Her husband is attached to the 10th Mountain Division based out of Fort Drum, N.Y., near the upstate city of Watertown. There are more than 10,000 Active Duty Soldiers based at Fort Drum, which is one of the primary staging areas for the war on terrorism. In addition to being the home of the 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum is also a mobilization center for National Guard and Reserve troops slated for overseas deployments.
As such, there is a lot of movement of military families. For the past three years military families have come and gone from the Fort Drum area with great frequency, as they have from military installations across the country.
“You see a family, then suddenly, your realize that family is gone,” Heather said.
Heather didn’t want to be one of those families. She and her husband felt that for the stability of the family, she and her children would move near Fort Drum for the duration of his tours of duty.
So, back in late 2002, when her husband got his first orders for deployment to the Middle East in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, Heather sold the family home in Michigan, and packed up her four children and moved to the vicinity of Fort Drum. In upstate New York, she bought a new house in a community near Fort Drum, enrolled her oldest children in school, found a daycare facility for her youngest, and set out on a successful search for a job.
All this while trying to keep her children in tow.
“We didn’t want to be going back and forth,” Heather pointed out. “There was a lot of downside to leaving Michigan, but for the good of the family, we thought it was necessary.”
In Michigan, Heather left behind a support group of parents, brothers, sisters and in-laws who helped her while her husband, a 20-plus-year Army officer, was serving his country. That was a major part of the downside.
She thought that the support group was gone forever when she moved to New York. But while the support group has diminished (her brothers and sisters have their own families and responsibilities in Michigan), it hasn’t completely gone way. That’s because her parents and her husband’s parents are retired and can visit as often as they want.
It’s a long drive by car from Michigan to upstate New York, especially for people in their 60s. But thanks to the fact that there is an airport in Watertown, a long drive is not necessary.
Fort Drum is located near Watertown International Airport. The nearest airport otherwise would be Syracuse International Airport, located about 70 miles away.
That makes life much easier for Heather.
“My parents and in-laws can come and visit as often as they want,” Heather said. “It’s has been a huge advantage. They spend weeks at a time here and help out in every way possible. It makes my life so much easier when they are here.”
According to Heather, her parents and in-laws can travel from Detroit to Watertown, via either Pittsburgh International Airport or Reagan National (Washington, D.C.) Airport. Fares are reasonably priced, she said.
Most other domestic airlines also serve Watertown International Airport.
A Great Relief To Have Help
Because of the number of deployments and redeployments to Afghanistan and Iraq in recent years, access to commercial airports has taken on added significance for families of those soldiers. Families, like Heather and her children, can be that much closer to their relatives if they are living near a commercial airport.
“We’re blessed because my parents and in-laws have their health, are retired, and can afford to the cost of airline tickets,” Heather said.
Heather said that an average stay for her parents and in-laws is between two weeks and a month. Each couple tries to visit Heather and her family three or four times a year.
They also coordinate their trips so they are not visiting at the same time. The result, according to Heather, is that she gets help for about six months out of the year.
While that still leaves six months a year where Heather is playing mother, father, provider — and everything else that comes with raising children alone — she said it is a “godsend” to have help at least a portion of the time.
“It gets frustrating when you’re trying to raise your children alone, and their father is away serving his country in a dangerous place,” she pointed out. “Your emotions are all over the place. Sometimes, you’re just plain tired but you have to go on because there is always some sort of activity with the kids.”
But thanks to the fact that there is convenient airport access near Fort Drum, Heather gets a bit of relief from her responsibilities.
In many cases, the grandparents will take over the day-to-day duties of running the household — cooking dinner, doing yard work or cleaning the house — so Heather can relax, or take in a movie or dinner with a friend.
Heather described it as being able “to recharge my batteries” for the time when they go home.
“It’s not a cure-all, and there are still issues that come up while [the grandparents] are here,” she said. “But at least it’s not all coming at me all at once. Plus, I have them to use as a sounding board while they are here.”
Of course, Heather looks forward to the day when her husband is home for good and once again, it is a two-parent family in the physical sense.
“The kids miss their father and I miss my husband,” she said. “My two oldest are boys and they need their father like all kids their age need their father. It has been a tough couple of years for all of us. Sometimes, I forget this impacts the kids as much as it does me.”
Despite the hardships, Heather said she wouldn’t change much of the past several years.
“I’m proud of my husband and the way he is serving his country in this important time,” she said. “I know my kids are proud of their father. We can’t wait until he comes home and we pray for his safe return everyday. But we know he won’t want to come home until he knows our country is safe.”
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