Lisa Timmerman exemplifies what it is to be a military mother. Her husband, Col. Tom Timmerman, is has spent 30 years in the U.S. Army and has been based in locales such as England, Germany, the Korean peninsula and Japan, not to mention military bases in Texas, California, Florida and Oklahoma and Virginia, where he is currently assigned.
While her husband was serving his country at various points around the globe, Lisa was always in the United States raising their four children in rental houses, then in houses of their own. Her children, now ranging in age between 23 and 30, have all graduated from college and are on their own.
It wasn’t always easy with her husband on the other side of the world but Lisa believes she managed quite well and looks back on the experience with great affection.
“At times, it was a tough life,” she said. “There were many ups and downs, but more ups than downs. Looking back, I don’t’ think I would have traded it for anything.”
Like the great majority of military families, the Timmerman family lived off base in the civilian community. In fact, about two-thirds of all military families live off the installation. For these families, the standard of living in a particular metro area is as important as it is to any civilian family.
They send their children to the same local schools, they live in the same communities and they shop in the same stores.
“I used to go to board of education when I could to make sure my kids were getting the best possible education,” Lisa said. “We were every bit a part of the community we were living in as our neighbors. The only difference was my husband was in the Army.”
The Department of Defense understands more than ever these days the role of the communities surrounding its military installations, especially since most of its active duty military families live off base. The DOD evaluates the communities because, among other things, it cannot afford to lose too many of its best people to the private sector because they are unhappy with the standard of living in the communities where they are assigned.
Time For Their Own House
For the Timmerman family, much has changed in 30 years of marriage and raising a family — as it would for any couple with similar circumstances whose husband is in any occupation.
When Tom and Lisa married in 1976, Tom was just embarking on his Army career and the couple had next to nothing. They rented an apartment in California and started saving for a home to call their own.
“There wasn’t much money coming in, so we were on a shoestring budget,” Lisa said. “We didn’t have many material things but we had great plans for the future.”
Those plans included children. The first of the Timmerman’s four children, David, came in 1978, followed by Kim in 1980, Jake in 1983 and Brittany in 1985. Through these years, the Timmerman family lived in various rental houses.
Through these years, meanwhile, Tom’s Army career was beginning to climb. That meant transferring from base to base. In 1986, Tom was transferred to Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas, and Lisa had a request.
“I thought it was time for us to live in our own home,” Lisa said. “By this time we had four children and we needed to be able to live in our own house.”
The family had been able to save some money and was still making end’s meet. Most, if not all, of the family food shopping was done at the military commissary as opposed to grocery stores in the community. Lisa said that was a great way to save money.
As is the tradition in many multi-children families, the younger Timmerman children wore hand-me downs from their older brother and sister. Lisa also learned how to sew so she could make clothes for her sons and daughters, thus saving even more money.
Tom agreed to the home ownership idea, and in early 1987, the Timmerman family bought their first home in El Paso. The family had taken the first step to fulfilling the American Dream.
“It was something I pretty adamant about,” Lisa said. “Four small, growing children living in a rental property — and not much property at that — was difficult.”
Looking back at that period, Lisa said buying their first home in El Paso was the best thing the family did. It gave the Timmermans equity and the ability to buy bigger, more expensive homes in the future.
Plus, the intangible asset of home ownership is the pride you have in calling something your own. Lisa said that fact cannot be overstated.
“The pride that Tom and I had in moving into our first home is a feeling I’m not sure we’ve had since,” she said. “It was our house, to do with whatever we wanted to. Of course, you can’t always do that with rental property.”
Public Schools Were a Concern
The Timmerman family lived in El Paso for five years (its longest stay in any one city), while Tom’s career continued its upward curve. During those five years, Tom had several overseas duty assignments, leaving Lisa at home to raise their four children.
By this time, all four children were in school, the youngest being in kindergarten, and Lisa became a member of the local PTA. She says she wanted to make sure her children were getting the best education possible from the local public school.
The inconsistency in the quality of public schools throughout the country is a critical factor for military families as they find themselves moving from one area to another.
And after five years of living in El Paso, Tom began to be transferred to various bases around the country, including to California, Oklahoma and others in Texas.
Lisa said she was not always happy with the education that her children were receiving as the family began to move around. Certainly, some school districts were better than others, she pointes out.
She said her children more than a half-dozen schools before they graduated from high school.
As her children were growing older, entering high school, with thoughts starting to turn to college, it became an even bigger concern for Tom and Lisa.
“Tom and I both felt that it was important for all of our children to go to college,” Lisa said. “We wanted to do everything in our power to make that happen.”
But Lisa found that some school districts were not nearly as good as others in preparing their students for college. At one point, her son, David, came home and said the school he was attending wasn’t as tough as the previous school. He was making A’s and B’s but Lisa was concerned he wasn’t being prepared for life after the 12th grade.
“He would come home and his homework was done in five minutes,” she said. “I was beginning to wonder if the school was too easy.”
Unfortunately, the Timmermans had no option but to send their children to the local public schools. All the money that Tom and Lisa were able to save was going to the kids’ college fund. Enrolling them in a private school was never even considered.
But because of the constant moving that the family did, Lisa says she and Tom tried to instill a sense of self-motivation in each of their children.
“We knew we weren’t going to be in one place for a long period of time,” she said. “Because of that, we felt that it was important to teach our kids that sometimes, you have to just take matters into your own hands if you want something done.”
She said she believes that lesson played a role in her children’s own abilities to prepare themselves for college. And it paid off handsomely, she adds. All four children graduated from colleges with a bachelor’s degree and are in the work world, and one daughter, Brittany, is going for her MBA.
The Golden Years Lie Ahead
Looking back at the past three decades is something that Lisa Timmerman does with a great deal of pride. Much has been accomplished.
The couple that started with next to nothing, living in a small apartment in California, is living in a home in Virginia, near Washington, D.C., and has raised four children.
Tom and Lisa have lived the American Dream, raising the standard of living for their family no matter the hardships that come with constantly being relocated as part of a military family.
The couple cut corners, and scrimped and saved to give their children a shot at their own American Dream.
They felt it was important to live in the civilian community no matter what base Tom was assigned to because they wanted to give their children the most “normal” life possible, despite the turmoil associated with moving, and moving often, Lisa says.
The next step, she says, is to determine when Tom is going to retire and where they are going to spend their retirement years. Virginia is a possibility, as is North Carolina and South Carolina, Lisa said.
They want to stay in the mid-Atlantic region because their children are located in that region.
“I want a nice place where we can enjoy our children and, hopefully, grandchildren,” Lisa says. “It’s been a great life up until now. Hopefully, we’ll have many more years to enjoy it.”
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